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Oct. 23rd, 2011

Ate like crap this weekend (well friday dinner and yesterday) and now Eleanor's skin looks HORRIBLE. I seriously hate breastfeeding right now.

Oct. 7th, 2011

I just wanted to brag share that I weighted myself today and weight 110! Thats 10 pounds up from my pre pregnancy weight but only 3 pounds up from my "normal" adult weight.

I know I probably look like I am wasting away but I don't give a fuck. I like being a bony skeletor, I blame the media! haha

ugh.My brain. I

never comment on anyone's posts but I do read them, nearly all of them! Even the really really long ones!

I feel like sometimes I think you guys are better friends then you really are, since I never post. I just assume you all know everything about me and my life.

So you may or may not know I am no longer in school (for midwifery) and I probably am not going to go back anytime soon. I even think that maybe I want to have more kids before I go back.

Right now we are "trying" to start a business where mark paints things. Paintings, murals, I don't give a fuck just something that someone will pay us for. We are broke, like I don't know how the fuck we are going to pay our bills broke. I haven't been working since Spring and we had pretty much been living off my student loans.
I do hair but make pretty much no money doing it becuase I sell myself short. I charge barely anything and things ALWAYS take way longer because my friends end up bringing their kids and then it takes me 3 times as long to do everything.

I don't know what to do.. I feel like I have a ton of ideas but I am just overwhelmed and flailing around. I CANNOT fuckign wait until we get our tax return.. I know that we are really far out right now but I REALLY REALLY hoping that we can manage to not spend the whole thing before it gets here. We need to get our car fixed. I don't know the technical words for it but essentially the A/C motor is broken and its a really expensive part. So even if I can barter or find someone to fix it for cheap the part is like $800
We have no A/C, we can't defrost our windows, and we don't have heat. I know its not cold for every long here but I guess we will just have to pile blankets on the girls if we have to drive in cold mornings.. I also managed to nearly max out or credit card in the last month, its not horribly high but its still looming over me. Plus I am just counting down the days till I have to start replaying MY student loans (this is the first time I've ever had student loan debt!)

UGHHHHHHHHHH.... In better news... We started having weekly Friday night dinners with our friends. Last week was the first time but it was really really fun. I kind of raged out at the end becuase I felt like Mark was drinkign too much and I had been cleaning/watching kids/doing/running errands/etc ALL day. Literally from the moment I woke up until our friends came over, I hadn't had one second to jsut sit and process. But it was really good. We have great friends that make yummy food, have adorable kids, and help me clean up! ( : Hopefully this week goes as well.

We were supposed to start this candida cleanse diet.. but I had a break down about it and ordered hungry howies (yes I know, is this even real food?!) and said fuck it. Also my mom got all pissy with me on Tuesday and I havent' seen her since.. i dont' know if I want to go over there tomorrow but when I talked to my dad today he was all "see you tomorrow" so I feel like I'm the ass if I dont' go.

ALSOOOOOOOOOO I really love spending time with Mark. This weekend was super awesome and I am so pissed its over. I just want him to work a job where he gets to be with us and I am not alone all day with nothing to do. I can't get anything accomplished with both the girls right now, Emaline and I just fight all day, but there is so much stuff to do that I feel like a loser just spending the day at the park or museum. Somehow we manage to have fun and get things done with Mark around.

Also I am always up late and like to FB chat so add me if you haven't and lets chat. ( :

Jun. 15th, 2011

Also I am going to assume (hope?) that this will wear off as my hormones re regulate but I want another baby!!!!! I have been seriously thinking about it with school and trying to convince myself that it would be better to have another one while I'm at the tail end of school (I will be done with school December 2013) vs when I am practicing. Since I don't get paid to be at births during school and if I wait till after I graduate I would have to take a few months off from taking births therefor making no money, though I guess I could do prenatals when I was largely pregnant and even after I had the baby as long as I have an office they are coming to and I'm not doing all home visits.

Also I am kind of sad because most of my class is going to Africa in December to go catch babies and I am jealous. Even though I really don't give a shit about going to Africa and honestly have no intentions of getting a bunch of vaccines just to go on a 3 week trip. I just don't like being left out.

Jun. 5th, 2011

I really want to start a blog and FB page for birthy stuff but am too dumb to think of a name. Any suggestions?

I seriously have had this in the back of my mind for over a year and cannot come up with anything.

May. 29th, 2011

I am so dumb. I ordered Eleanor's birth announcements last night and then woke up at like 4:30 and realized I didn't put any of her birth information on them! I just put her name!
I am going to try to write it on them by hand with a appropriately colored sharpie, but I feel so stupid.

I had a coupon code that was only good until midnight and I was in a rush and of course Mark didn't notice it either (though I'm sure he never would have if I didn't point it out)

May. 28th, 2011

I want to wear pants! I haven't worn pants other than pajama pants or retarded gaucho pants in at least 3 months.
) :

May. 26th, 2011

I had my baby Saturday. I really should update with so many things.

I feel so awesome its obnoxious. I love birth and babies, I just wish I had a maid!

May. 20th, 2011

Marks mom is here. Mark is at work. /:

Maybe I am just a selfish 39 week pregnant asshole but our house is messy and it would have been really nice if she offered to help me with something. She is playing with Emaline which is cool becuase she only sees her like twice a year, but I guess I am just bitter and wish I had a clean freak MIL ( :

I got two sinks full of dishes done and picked up all of the random shit downstairs so that is good. At least her being here is motivation to not sit around and do nothing all day.

Also Mark took our car to work (and his sister dropped his mom off) and there is nothing to eat. I gave his mom a yogurt and I have eaten a piece of cake...


Also I got a massage (therapeutic not for relaxing) and my jaw, neck, and shoulders are sore as fuck. I WANT TO LAY AND DO NOTHING WAHHHHH

photo dump.

I hadn't uploaded any pictures from our camera since before Christmas! So here is the last 4 months!

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October 2011


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